It is dark and cool. The light sound of traffic and the soft chirping of night creatures drift in on the breezes through the open window. The sweet scent of the night air surrounds me and has dissipated the dry, cooped up air from being closed all day.
My stomach growls softly with a small hunger. I consider going downstairs to get a PBJ sandwich and a glass of ice cold Diet Pepsi despite the clock reading 12:32am.
I sit in the dark and snippets of life stroll through my head. The uncertainty that permeates my life weighs down like heavy blankets on a winter’s night.
It’s my uncertainty, not God’s. I find that oddly comforting.
This world hasn’t been completely certain since the moment Eve took the fruit from the tree. Uncertainty is now part of the human condition.
A friend once called me a Type A- personality, not totally A, but definitely not a B. That A- minus in me makes me loathe the not knowing; makes me uncomfortable with knowing my plans are tentative.
One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11 which says the Lord has plans for us. These plans are to prosper us and not to harm us. I cling to this verse like a toddler clings to her binky. I know that prosper doesn’t mean He’s going to shower me with worldly things and riches. I also know that hurt, pain, and ugliness of this world come before the prospering.
God’s plan for prospering me means to save me from eternal death and to bring me to heaven. Jeremiah 29:11 doesn’t promise me no uncertainty. It promises that my only certainty is that regardless of this life I will spend eternity with Him in heaven.
So, here in the night I lay the uncertainty at His feet. I tell Him what I would like but that I’m open to His plan. I pray to mean those words because only in trusting can I conquer the uncertainty.